Friday, March 25, 2011

My Impending Brilliance

I've been slacking here this week. I've had a headache since Monday and now I have an earache. I'm pretty sure I have a brain tumor. But I hear that having a brain tumor can make you really smart (right before it kills you.) At least that's what happens on TV. That's where I get most of my medical knowledge: doctor shows.

But apparently, that's not a reliable way to diagnose yourself. I know because when I was in the operating room having a c-section, right as they were about to slice open my abdomen and pull out a tiny tiny baby, I asked all the doctors in the room if doctors watch doctor shows on TV. The answer was a resounding, "NO! They're so dumb and unrealistic. Except for Scrubs. That one's funny. Congratulations, it's a girl."

I also once knew a forensic scientist who couldn't say enough bad stuff about shows like CSI.

But you know what? I work in an office. An advertising office. That doesn't stop me from watching shows like Mad Men or, you know, The Office. I don't watch those shows, but not because they're not realistic. I have completely different emotional issues that prevent me from enjoying them. But that's a story for another time. Or never, because, really? How high do I want to fly my neurotic flag?

But the point is: This brain tumor thing is going to make me really smart, or give me super powers any day now. So bear with me here. This blog may become brilliant at any moment.

But just in case it doesn't, I've created a tumblr page. I haven't posted a single thing there yet. I don't even really know how it works. But I discovered a few people using it to blog that I needed to follow and you have to have an account to follow people and it's all very confusing. So, someday you might find me at

Or my chiropractor will get back from vacation, crack my neck, cure my headache and I will go back to pain-free mediocrity.


  1. I am looking forward to your continued and/or new-found brilliance.

    But no tumors, please.



  2. I never knew brain tumors caused such brilliance, but I never read Flowers for Algernon either, so I'll take your word for it.

    However, the radiation leaks in Japan have convinced me that it's only a matter of time before Godzilla rises out of Tokyo bay and starts kicking ass.

  3. That's what I've been needing to help me blog - a brain tumor! Now where can I get one?

  4. You write a blog... Only a matter of time till that neurotic flag flys free...


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