Wednesday, March 9, 2011

Most of my jobs have involved wood glue

Tomorrow, I have one of those things that shall not be named on the internet, lest I tempt the gods and jinx myself. I learned my lesson last time, thank you very much. And for this thing that must not be named I have to look nice. Like I don't get dressed in the dark every morning.  Like my clothes aren't made of dog hair.

Honestly, it would be easier to make new clothes from scratch than to try to scrape together something presentable from the stained, pilled, ill fitting pieces that are currently hanging in my closet.

So I just up and bought my first suit.

Who wants to take bets on how long till I find it smeared with peanut butter and being used as a dog bed?


  1. Good luck sweet-e. May your non-event be most eventful...

  2. Good luck! Not that you need it or anything, since nothing is really happening. :-)

  3. Last time I showed up for a non-event I carried a doctored "non-event list of other non-events" that I had been doing and had enough alcohol still in my system from the previous night to set the face of my inquisitor on fire when I breathed on him or spoke.

  4. I hope you have a very eventful non-event. You might want to keep the suit in the car, and just get dressed somewhere else that day so the dogs, and kids don't get a chance to slobber on it.

  5. Thanks guys. We'll see. If anything came of this nothing thing, I would have to wear nice clothes every day. I really don't know how I would manage.

    Tom- you haven't seen my car, have you?

  6. Tom, I'm starting to suspect you are one of those guys who cleans the inside of his car.
    Mine is a rolling garbage dump of year old food containers, left over drinks, fossilized chicken nuggets, rank sports equipment, old socks and some random scut I can't identify.
    I swear to god I found a pair of my underwear in a side compartment the other day and couldn't figure out how I removed them while still wearing clothing since I try not to drive naked.


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