Today is the last day of March. And while most people are scheming and planning the pranks that they will play on their loved ones and co-workers tomorrow, I am planning how to avoid them. I hate practical jokes with the fiery passion of a thousand suns. I think it's mostly because they work really well on me. It's because I am so trusting. So literal. So gullible. Plus, I startle easily.
And so tomorrow I will spend the entire day on Joke Alert: threat level fuchsia.
I will not believe anything anyone says to me all day, nomatterwhat.
I will double and triple check all chairs before I sit on them.
I will look in my shoes before I put them on.
I will walk through all doorways very very slowly.
I will not put any condiments that have not been in my possession all day on any of my meals.
I will be hyper-aware of everyone's facial expressions. If your eye is twitching even a tiny bit, like you might be holding in a smile while you are talking to me, I will probably just turn and walk away from you.
Picture me stumbling through my day, hollow-eyed, shivering and muttering to myself. Must not be gullible... must keep guard up... never relax.
Hahaha.....I'm the same way. I'm so flippin gullible!
ReplyDeleteHope you make it thru tomorrow!
Ha ha! Once, as a joke, some "friends" put a huge, pink gecko in one of my shoes. It nearly put me in the hospital.
ReplyDeleteMy husband posts the same prank on Facebook every year, telling everyone we're pregnant. One of my favorite pranks that you reminded me of with the "condiments" remark is one time when myself and a coworker slipped a few mini chocolate candy bars into our other coworker's sandwich that he'd left in the fridge. It was seriously hilarious. :-)
ReplyDeleteMust ... resist. This is my favorite holiday.
ReplyDeleteAs your younger brother, and the victim of daily practical jokes, pranks, and just general needling, I'm enjoying this a bit. My method of defense in the day was less artful. Smashing in the bathroom door and kicking you in the balls, if I remember correctly, years of of frustration billowing out of me.
ReplyDeleteawww, you're so cute when you're scared. i'm going to assume you made it and i promise to never try to prank you. (or do i?) (i do)
ReplyDeleteThe worst April Fools joke in the entire world would be the one where everybody got a tack on their seat and not one of us looked before we hurled ourselves into our desks.
ReplyDeleteThe collective screams of seventeen fourth graders filled the air.
Nightmare.
I hope you made it through this one unscathed.
Thanks for your support, guys. I made it safely through the day, I just refused to believe anything anyone told me. I should maybe do that more often.
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