Monday, February 21, 2011

The Gun Range

When I was a kid we had this really nasty rooster that used to attack me in the yard whenever I went outside, and I would get revenge on it by climbing up on the roof of the goat barn and shooting at it with a BB gun. The BBs would just startle him and bounce off his feathers, but it made me feel better. And sometimes my dad would let me shoot his rifles at a hay bail target (and laugh when they knocked me on my butt.)

Anyway. I'm not a total gun virgin, but far from expert. And Eric had done some trap shooting, but had never fired a pistol. So when I called to see if they would let us shoot real guns at the range for Valentines Day, and they were all, "Sure! We'll walk you through how the gun works and get you all set up",  I picture them handing us a loaded gun, showing us the safety and pointing us at a target.

Not so much. Once we picked out a gun, the guy showed us an empty clip, a box of bullets and basically said, "Put the bullets in here, put this in the gun hold the gun like this and squeeze the trigger. If you do it wrong, you might die" Then shooed us off into lane 13. (13!)

So, Bill's Gun Shop and Range isn't exactly like what you see in the movies. It's loud. Really, really loud. Really. really. really. loud.

Bang Bang BOOM Bang Bang BangBOOMBOOMBOOM. BOOOOM!

And it's crowded. Two or three guys on most lanes, with big guns and scowls on their faces. Serious shooters, who bring their own guns and gear and elegantly empty all their rounds into a tiny quarter sized hole in the center of their target.

As we walked behind these men (all men, I was the only girl there) we had to be careful not to trip on all the empty rounds scattered on the floor and dodge the flying ones.

It smelled like sweat and gun powder.

It was awesome.

Once we figured out how to load the gun and got our target set up, Eric took the first turn with the gun.



He looked like a total badass.


Then it was my turn.

Lookit!! I'm good at this!



A tip for the ladies: do not wear a low cut sweater to the shooting range. Shell casings are very hot when they fly out of your 9mm gun and they will flip into your cleavage, wedge themselves into your bra and burn your boob.


Happy Valentine's Day, Puddin. Has the adrenaline worn off yet?


9 comments:

  1. You cannot over estimate how sexy it is to hear a woman say

    "A tip for the ladies: do not wear a low cut sweater to the shooting range. Shell casings are very hot when they fly out of your 9mm gun and they will flip into your cleavage, wedge themselves into your bra and burn your boob"

    That there might be the definition of an American girl.

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  2. You think that's sexy, you should see the blister on my boob.

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  3. Babe it has not worn off yet. Again, best (bang) present (bang) ever. Tom, take a look at that target. That's what's hot.

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  4. It's great to see that romance is still alive. :) I love this.

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  5. I was hoping you'd post photos! Glad you did. :-)

    Also, thanks for the advice re: low-cut tops at the range. My father-in-law has been dying to get me out shooting, and it's a matter of time before I must bend to his will.

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  6. My sister should not be putting bullet boob blisters on the internet. It's unseemly. It's just not right. It's pretty funny, though.

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  7. Did you get this idea from BONES? Cuz we're watching this episode...

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  8. No, I got it from Eric obsessively playing his zombie shooting video game. Which episode? (I'm still not caught up on TV, I think I'm still somewhere back in November.)

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  9. The end of the Valentine's Day 'Bones' is eerily synchronositous.

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