Monday, February 28, 2011

And the award goes to me for...

While we were watching the Oscars last night, Eric asked me if I were going to win an award at the Oscars, like, if in another life I became famous in the movies, what would it be for?

Not acting. I'm a terrible actor as anyone who witnessed the debacle that was the one one act play that I performed in in high school can attest to. (That's a weird sentence, isn't it? One one and in in. But, yeah, I think that's what I meant to say.) In my head, I can see myself acting all serious and dramatic, but when it comes down to it, I can never keep a straight face.

I also took one of those aptitude tests in high school that's supposed to tell you what line of work you should pursue. It told me I should be a TV/Movie Producer/Director. Somehow I don't see it. I don't think I'm bossy assertive enough for that.

I'm tone deaf, so it wouldn't be for score or sound or anything like that. I don't even really understand what editing is. (insert joke about lack of editing my own blog here) And if you've ever seen me close up, you would know that make-up is out of the question too. I stumble over that line between clean skin and clown face every day.

The first time I went to college, I majored in costume design. And then actually worked with a couple of small local theaters and costumed a few plays. I guess it could be for that. But I also briefly studied interior design, so maybe I could be a set decorator. But the designers at the awards shows are never wearing the beautiful, glamorous gowns, so it makes me think that those awards are somehow less awesome to win.

But alas, in this life, it's just not to be. I guess I'll have to settle for both of my kids winning Oscars someday. Merry will be an actress. She's got that role down pat already. Lucas, I foresee, will be the next John Lassiter, animator and director. And they will both be all, "...and most of all I'd like to thank my mother, because she predicted all of this in her blog when I was 3, and then went all Joan Crawford-crazy-mom on me to make it happen."


  1. I took that same aptitude test in High School. It told me I was best suited to be a machinery operator. If only I'd have listened...

  2. But the set directors and costume people are, actually, the awesome-ist. They always seem so surprised and genuinely humble. Because they're just doing what they love. I see you in any of those roles and being fantastic at them all. But that's just because you're basically better than me at everything. But I will note on the editing front that, ironically, there is a typo in your post.

  3. Tom, Was the test specific as to what kind of machinery you should operate? Like slot machines? or coffee machines?
    E -That's not ironic, that's to be expected.

  4. Production designers get my vote. I'm not sure why. Probably because I've known a few and I wanted to act like I knew what I was talking about and had something cool to say.
    If anyone ever let me get near a movie I'd probably destroy the whole thing in a fit of delighted maniacal glee!

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