Monday, January 31, 2011


I took a lot of grief (at home) for my decision to give up on our blogeverysingledaynomatterwhat thing that we had going on, but I gotta say, after taking just two days to breathe, I feel so much better.

You see, my dad just died, suddenly, unexpectedly. Young.

And my dad and I had a rather complicated and rocky relationship that we will now never get a chance to straighten out. So every day, when I sat down to write, all I could think about was this. And how I was ever going put it all into words and how overwhelming it all was, and how sad and angry I was. And since I couldn't get it all out, shape all those feelings into a neat and tidy blog post, I just sat with it and stewed. The same thoughts and phrases chasing around in my head over and over.

Jeezus, it was depressing. Really.

In a rare moment of self awareness and maturity, I decided I needed to step away from it. Even though it meant letting Eric win the bet (although I know he missed days and cheater-re-dated them, so technically I really won a long time ago.) And after two days of no blogging or obsessing about it, my stomach has finally loosened its knots and I feel like I can breathe a little bit easier.


And I never meant that I was giving up on blogging, I just meant that on those nights when I'm sitting in bed with my laptop and my mind is a complete blank, I'm just going to go ahead and not write about the fact that my mind is blank. Cause who wants to read that seven days a week, really?


  1. I once considered a post about bowel movements.
    Here is the part where you would expect me to tell you that I caught myself and didn't soil the internet with any kind of nonsense about my regularity and lack of toilet paper, and you would be wrong thinking it. Sadly I did write that post and sat there shaking my head wondering why exactly the world needed to know.
    You are a wise woman to follow your instincts. I wish I had some tempered by a dash of common sense.

  2. It's been almost 14 years since my Dad passed away, and I am still working through it. For a long time, he would appear in my dreams, but never speak. It was like he had no voice anymore. This saddened me to know end, but then gradually he started speaking up. Now, it seems like I can summon him on a moments notice, and feel his thoughts with me at any time. I can't wait to see him again. I want to tell him about all I've learned since he died, and of all the things I now understand that I didn't before.

    Hang in there. You are loved, and that means everything.

  3. duf, I remember that post. And it was the classiest, most delicately put post about pooping that I've ever read. Although, I'm pretty sure I came away from it thinking you subbed your iphone for toilet paper...

    Tom, I hope I can get there someday.

  4. I don't really have anything to contribute other than hugs. But for what it's worth, I have LOADS of em.


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