Here's a confession for you:
You know i grew up in the woods out past Osage, right? So when we were little, C____'s family were our closest neighbors and our moms were kind of friends. His mom didn't have a car during the day, so if there was ever an emergency, she would call my mom and we would go pick them up and drive them. Several times, she called after C_____ had done some terribly foolish thing and needed to be taken to the ER. Cut off his pinky with a hatchet, hit himself in the head with a hammer...
So after Mom and I moved to Indiana, I went through some really hard times. Mom always kind of blamed herself for uprooting me and moving me to a really harsh, angry town, and when she confessed this to me, telling me that she thought I would have been OK if we had stayed in Minnesota, I told her this:
"Mom, on the night before we moved to Indiana, I made out with C______." Her response: "Oh, never mind then."