Relief

I took a lot of grief (at home) for my decision to give up on our blogeverysingledaynomatterwhat thing that we had going on, but I gotta say, after taking just two days to breathe, I feel so much better.

You see, my dad just died, suddenly, unexpectedly. Young.

And my dad and I had a rather complicated and rocky relationship that we will now never get a chance to straighten out. So every day, when I sat down to write, all I could think about was this. And how I was ever going put it all into words and how overwhelming it all was, and how sad and angry I was. And since I couldn't get it all out, shape all those feelings into a neat and tidy blog post, I just sat with it and stewed. The same thoughts and phrases chasing around in my head over and over.

Jeezus, it was depressing. Really.

In a rare moment of self awareness and maturity, I decided I needed to step away from it. Even though it meant letting Eric win the bet (although I know he missed days and cheater-re-dated them, so technically I really won a long time ago.) And after two days of no blogging or obsessing about it, my stomach has finally loosened its knots and I feel like I can breathe a little bit easier.

...........................

And I never meant that I was giving up on blogging, I just meant that on those nights when I'm sitting in bed with my laptop and my mind is a complete blank, I'm just going to go ahead and not write about the fact that my mind is blank. Cause who wants to read that seven days a week, really?